The Zoolander of SkiMo

For goofy movie afficionados (I’m guilty) Zoolander is a big hit. The one main problem Zoolander, male model extrordinaire, had was that he couldn’t turn left. You can be male model of the year several years running, but inwardly when you know that you just can’t turn left it’s going to leave you feeling somewhat insecure.

In some ways I feel like the Zoolander of skimo. No, I’m not referring to my chiseled good looks, six pack abs or the "black lung" post race cough I experience. It’s that when under pressure I can’t seem to get into my Dynafit bindings or perform quick efficient kick turns. In our nat’l points race finale, the Dogtooth Dash, I experienced another Dogtooth disaster. The reason being I lost so much time on kick turns and Dynafit snafues. I didn’t help that my razor sharp ski edges....thanks to the world’s best ski tuners- Couloir Bike and Ski of Canmore.....sheared off 90% of one of my pole baskets while performing one of my technically disturbed kick turns. Those same edges sliced my pole in half mid way in the race on a downhill crash. I missed that pole and basket and certainly lost time because of it, but really-after all these years now of racing you’d think I’d have kick turns and Dynafit transitions down.

These are mental errors and can be fixed. Yes I practiced both before the race and thought I had them down. I think this summer I’ll go out to steep grassy knolls and practice the kick turns. I’ll also go down to my local rink, gather ice shavings, dump them on my skis and practice getting in and out of Dynafit bindings (everyone knows that ice and snow clogging the binding makes it more challenging).

So another race season gone. I’m already looking forward to next year. Who knows, if Zoolander can rescue the Prime Minister of Thailand from the evil Mugatoo by overcoming his disability, then maybe there’s hope for me too....the Zoolander of skimo!